Be a friend, not a fiend
There are things good friends do that make them have many friends. What are these things? Could you be increasing your circle of friends by changing your behaviour?
Some things good friends do instinctively
- Good friends keep things to themselves that were told to them in confidence.
- They are reliable about things such as prearranged dates, times, or contributions to a dinner party.
- They are not jealous if you have other friends. On the contrary, real friends are happy for you.
- Good friends phone or visit when you are sick, or you mother has died.
- They know when to listen and when to talk.
- They are of the few people to whom you can say that you are not well, and they don’t feel uncomfortable.
- They know when to back off – sometimes you just need space and they do not interpret that as a personal rejection, because they do not see everything from their own point of view.
- They will tolerate your lively children, or your grumpy mother-in-law or you boisterous fox terrier.
- They will be honest with you if you ask their opinion, but, once they have given it, will not hold it against you if you don’t follow their advice
- Good friends never say “I told you so”, even if they are right.
- They will laugh and cry and be silly and get drunk with you, but will not tell others about it.
- They do not make you feel that you have to springclean your house before they visit.
- Good friends are not jealous of your success or your nice new boyfriend.
- They will not allow other people to say nasty things about you in their presence without defending you.
- They will encourage you to do adventurous new things, such as skydiving or dyeing your hair, or taking up diving.
- Good friends will laugh at your joke even if they have heard it six times before.
- They will take you out on your birthday if you have nothing planned.
- Good friends don’t automatically expect you to agree with them on matters of sex, politics and religion.
- Good friends will fetch you if your car breaks down at 2am.
- They will go to the divorce court with you or visit you in hospital.